Naikiru

12.12.2009

Today is a significant day. It is not about a month countdown to my birthday and I don’t wish to be reminded that I am a year older and this time I am going to be a 19-year-old. Oh my god, so old!

In fact, the outgoing sixth formers are supposed to attend their Graduation Night tonight but obviously, it has been cancelled. I feel indeed disappointed and sorry for them.

I could still remember vividly my initial purpose of joining this Sixth Form Society- to organize the Graduation Night. I hate it when things are done halfway and give up at the end. However, at the same time, I’m grateful that it is cancelled because I somehow have a strong feeling that it would lead to even greater disappointment and humiliation, based on the recent experience. I am clear that the cancellation has nothing to do with me. I may sound sarcastic and you might think I should have offered a helping hand but I doubt I will be given space. Failure to organize a Graduation Night is something I regret but what disappoints me most is poor teamwork.

Not to say this society isn’t good. It actually sets a good platform for me to acquire skills such as organizing events but learning should be a happy process which eventually produces satisfying result but what I foresee is disappointments will I get and organizing events is difficult enough but what I can sense is getting cooperation from fellow members is even harder. And my payment for this lesson is by wasting my effort and yet no appreciation? And I might even get either myself or fellow members unhappy over some controversy that most likely to happen due to me and maybe them too, for being selfish and headstrong. I certainly won’t give way but I would rather choose to be happy. So, I can treat as if nothing happened but I am still thinking hard for reasons to stay.